5th Annual Stepfamily Rx Conference Pictures & Feedback!

Some attendee feedback:

“Exceeded expectations…(knowing) we’re living under same conditions (as others)…I will share my experience!…appreciated hearing about being a child of divorce (from adult speaker)…helped me focus on my faith…loved it all!!…awesome to hear different testimonies…event was awesome…(appreciated) raw examples from (speakers’) lives…would love to hear teens’ perspectives.”

This is what keeps me going when the enemy wants to fill my head with any kind of failure or exhaustion. I see the participant’s eyes and faces, I hear the gratitude  in their voice. The room was filled with the Holy Spirit. There was so much prayer on this day! At the end of the day, I asked my high school tech guy what his thoughts were. You know what he said in his first words? “I’d like to hang out in this next year.”  WOW!!!!!  Even though he is not in a stepfamily, he was impacted by the day, the speakers…and I asked him to pray about perhaps speaking as a teen and especially asking some of his step-living or single parent friends if they would speak next year. Honestly, I was STUNNED that he was so open and intrigued. Thank you Father God, thank you!

 

(L to R) Pastor Dave, Matt & Erin/7 children between the two, Dori Pulse/Stepfamily Rx, Krista/Sonset Point Ministries, Kim/LPC, and in back, Brandon/Adult child of divorce.

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Stepfamily Rx interviewed by Chained No More Broadcast on TogiNet Radio

God is awesomely wonderful! I just completed a one hour interview with Robyn Besemann on her “Chained No More” segment via TogiNet radio. For those that tuned in, I pray that my words and passion were meaningful to you. Stepliving is hard work, but worth it! You can make a difference in a child’s life…another person to love, mentor, guide, and support them.

If you wish to contact me for further information or questions, email me at dori.pls@live.com.

Listen to the interview or download the podcast (will be available by 5:30 EST) at: http://www.toginet.com/shows/chainednomore

Peace and Blessings,

dori:)

Stepfamily Rx Conference – Helping stepfamilies!

We had more registrations yesterday! StepfamilyRx is dedicated to and passionate about helping stepcouples not only survive but THRIVE.

Here is an important quote:

“People need to know that healthy stepfamilies break the generational cycle of divorce,” explains Ron Deal, head of FamilyLife Blended™. “They can be redemption centers for both children and adults, and they increase the likelihood that the next generation will follow God’s blueprints for the family. Supporting this work has generational impact.”

I met Ron Deal this spring. He is a gifted teacher and also focused on helping us stepfamilies. CALL THE CHURCH OFFICE 715-834-2486 (Eau Claire, WI) AND REGISTER!! God bless all stepfamilies!

2015 Stepfamily Rx Conference_April Final Flyer

Stepfamily Rx Conference – April 25th – Eau Claire, WI

You won’t want to miss this powerful information-packed conference! Exciting speakers with an array of information that will give everyone something to take home and use! Break-out sessions to meet and network with other couples and individuals! Call Peace Church BY April 15th for Early Bird pricing! 25% DISCOUNT!

Church Office to register: 715-834-2486

Email me at dori.pls@live.com for further information.

2015 Stepfamily Rx Conference_April Final Flyer

Are You Discipling Your Children and Step-Children?

This morning, Mark Halvorsen on WWIB radio interviewed Pastor Brian Cole and Jerry Carpenter, the grandfather of a boy who was driving fast and had an accident, killing himself and other teen passengers in 2012.

The conversation was rich in the Lord, speaking of woundedness, honesty, forgiveness, and MOST importantly….speaking to our young people about God and Jesus Christ. Pastor Brian read part of Psalm 78 wherein God is speaking to His chosen people, the Israelites, about teaching and preaching our Sovereign Creator to current and future generations. Verses 4 through 6:

We will not hide them from their descendants;
    we will tell the next generation
the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord,
    his power, and the wonders he has done.
He decreed statutes for Jacob
    and established the law in Israel,
which he commanded our ancestors
    to teach their children,
so the next generation would know them,
    even the children yet to be born,
    and they in turn would tell their children.

Dads, stepdads, moms, stepmoms….are you teaching the children in your homes about Jesus Christ? Remember your words and teaching are important, but you will be doing more teaching by your EXAMPLE. Although we are not perfect (I’m certainly not), our actions as a way of life will speak for themselves. God bless everyone….  ❤

The Boundary Behavior Police

Ok, so I just posted an article about boundaries. I had an epiphany yesterday during my prayer time as to what I had slunk into…..

On Monday March 16th, I decided I was going to stop giving my power to the tv. I drew a boundary. I realized this is what I was doing Monday through Friday: I would get up early in the morning, make coffee, pray, go down and watch the Golden Girls until 9:00. Then I’d go into my office and catch up on emails…then progress to FaceBook. Soon it was noon. Then I would fix myself a salad and watch the noon news. Then I’d go back to work. About 2:00, I’d see what Giada on Food Network was doing, then it was the Barefoot Contessa at 3:00, which took me to Jeopardy at 4:00. At 4:30 maybe I’d go back to work for a bit or I’d watch Entertainment Tonight. At 5:00 it was local news, at 5:30 national news. At 6:00 I’d go back to work until 6:30 and then it was time to watch Wheel of Fortune. At 6:30 I might go back to work for a bit and then back to tv to watch a movie, Everybody Loves Raymond, Seinfeld, and then the Golden Girls again, falling asleep in my recliner until midnight. Then I’d go upstairs, wash my face, brush my teeth, waking myself up again so I had to read to get tired and fall asleep by 1:00 and then up at 6:00….to start all over again!

Yeah, now you know why I wrote about boundaries! 😉 I had convinced myself that my pseudo-retirement meant I had permission to squander my time while creating a more permanent dent in my recliner. Having a husband that works out of town all week provides unchecked freedom as well. So, I became sweetly aware that I can have fun and I do have the ability to come and go as I please. I did work hard for many years. But I also have a lot to give before I die and my tv certainly won’t speak on my legacy behalf!

I’ve dedicated this week to tv fasting…so far, so good! Detox and cleanse…ahhhh.

Blessings all…..

Stepfamilies: Doin’ It Right!!

The below article appeared in Sarah Stokes’ “Queen of the Castle” February magazine:

When asked to write this article, I thought and prayed about the content. As a stepmom, the owner of Stepfamily Rx, and as an author and blogger, I decided that there is a lot of information out there about “how to” and perhaps not enough about encouragement for all the good, powerful, and positive attributes of living as a stepfamily. So, within this article, I’ve shared some tips and “bravos”.

There are statistics that indicate when children grow up in a safe, positive, and healthy stepfamily with good rapport between biological parents, they can prosper and flourish as adults. Children need to feel loved, wanted, and respected. When emotional, physical, and spiritual needs are met within a stepfamily, everyone can relax and prosper. I realize things can be difficult, but I know there are happy times out there, too!

I am reading an exciting book by Shaunti Feldhahn entitled “Good News About Marriage”. In eight years of extensive research and reading numerous surveys, she has found that marriages hit a divorce peak in 1981, but since then have been on the decline. The higher statistics for remarried couples suggest that there are different situations that can cause stepfamily marriages to struggle or falter and fail. However!  The high statistics repeated by many for redivorce in stepfamilies is inconclusive (62-65% for 2nd marriages, 75-78% for 3rd marriages). Shaunti found that the divorce rates are much lower that what people have previously believed. It is true when issues are addressed from a more positive perspective, hope and endurance can reign. Marriage is a GREAT thing, and THAT is what we should be repeating!

In Ms. Feldhahn’s book, she states that her findings indicate that couples who pray together and regularly attend church and worship services have a higher success rate with happiness and longevity in their marriages. God created us for relationship with Him and with each other. Therefore, having God as first and foremost in your family establishes the relationship harmony…everyone has their focus on loving and serving God instead of dwelling on selfish desires.  That’s why in my book, “Everything Changed When I Said ‘I Do’  – Preparing for and Living as a God-First Stepfamily”, I propose ‘The Marital Perch”, which indicates that under God, husband and wife occupy and exist on this perch alone. Under the marital perch are the children, and under the children, everyone and everything else. This hierarchy is critical and essential, especially in stepfamily homes. Husband and wife must put each other first as the authority in the home for the sake of the children. It’s not easy, but it is important to the success of the family!

The good news in many stepfamilies is the husband and wife’s desire to create something better after a painful decision or event that put an end to the original family. I talk to many stepfamilies that pray together, are involved with school, activities, sports, music. They attend worship together, spend time playing, and make every effort to successfully plan holidays. Stepfamilies create new memories, new histories, and new traditions, while respecting what is important to the children. Avoid expectations, avoid taking everything personally. Celebrate good days, learn from difficult ones.

A decisive action parents and step-parents can take is to be genuinely committed to communication between each other. Seek to understand first, then to be understood. I recommend any disagreements about the children between the spouses never take place in front of the children. It gives them a peek at any issue or weakness between the adults. Strive for peace, calm, and safety. We cannot control other people, we can only control ourselves.  When you avoid negative talk about anyone, you teach the children a very important life lesson about relationships. I know of stepfamilies that strive to have friendly relationships with the ex-spouse! It can and does happen!

Take time for weekly “table talk”, when everyone checks in with each other, schedules are discussed, and highs and lows can be shared. Adults and children take turns, keeping the tone respectful. Create a family mission statement wherein each person in the family contributes. Finally, make a list together during your family table talk time of fun, new, enjoyable things that happened during the week and post it on the refrigerator. Each week you can do a new one.

Now, I’ll bet after reading this, you realize that there are successes in your stepfamily, that you ARE doing some things right! Life is too short, so rather than just survive….you can thrive! God bless ALL families.