Social Media: Attraction & Temptation

   Every time I sat down….anywhere….I was checking my Facebook page. Who liked what I posted or if they didn’t like it, did they comment? I had become the one I was feeling sorry for. The one who constantly monitored what others were doing, saying, or “liking”. Hours would fly by every day.

So I took August off. The only time I went on FB was when I received an email notice that it was someone’s birthday. I celebrate birthdays and love to acknowledge those I love and care about on their special day.

Facebook/Social Media, the most insidious avenue to attract and tempt anyone to look and click rather than live life. I truly grieve every time I see someone walking, waiting, sitting with their children and on their phone because I know the percentage of them checking social media is very high.

In my home office, I am going to discipline myself and put a timer on so my “attraction to and temptation for” Facebook will be limited. An hour will be more than enough. I will have a book near my recliner instead of my phone.

God will not be determining my salvation by the “likes” I gave or received.

School has started….Stepfamilies and divorced parents please be sensitive to kids in split homes with things to remember. Help them by posting a “Did You Remember” dry erase or chalk board in good view. Something they or you can write on each week….”Homework, school books, iPad, Phone, certain clothes, jackets, or shoes, etc.”

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Q.T.I.P.

It’s been difficult to come up with a topic to blog about because there have been so many life things that have popped up lately. Books, movies, calls and texts from stepcouples and divorced folks….so much to talk about!

In speaking with a counselor friend lately, we discussed the ups and downs of feelings. Feelings are extremely powerful and yet are temporary, unreliable, and ultimately can do great damage. Feelings include the depth and beauty of unconditional love to the precarious depths of rage. For me, my feelings are usually expressed in my eyes. One can see great love, happiness, sadness…and yes, anger. I’ve come to know myself very well….and that is with humility, honesty, and truth. Age has a way of doing that.

With that said, I know I have to monitor my feelings. I am easily hurt. I used to react more often without thinking, but that taught me lessons about the beauty of silence and patience. I’ve learned that like President Trump, no matter what I do, not everyone is going to like me. As a matter of fact, no matter what I do, there will be those that see “bad” in everything about me. It’s a journey of acceptance I continue to work on.

Broken to mended

QTIP = a good acronym for “quit taking it personally”. I will tell you it is one of the most challenging and difficult things to do. In family, with friends, spouses, kids, stepchildren….the mantra “one hurts those they love the most” is sadly very true. We all ache for love and kindness….respect and honor. There is a way, however, to work on not taking everything that happens to us personally.

I leave you with this…..a good book I am currently reading has a wonderful chapter on choices. I have embraced this word because it has made my life better. I live it and teach it. I understand no one can “MAKE” me happy, sad, angry, etc. Actions can cause my feelings to rise up, but then I can choose what I do with them. In my mind and heart, I can choose to not take things personally, to let go, drop it, stop it. And a big hint is to stop replaying a painful situation over and over and over in your head.

Today, I pray that you choose to live with gratitude, see all that God has blessed you with. Instead of choosing to think bad or negative thoughts about someone close to you, begin to look for and think about their good. Pray, talk to God, read Scripture, read good books. Stop watching so much television.

God bless America….it’s the greatest country on earth and we get to live here!

A Cry and A Crown

Childhood memories in a dentist’s chair have forever remained with me as a hugely negative thing. I abhor needles in my mouth. I have a high tolerance for pain…but in my mouth? Uh Uh.

Recently a wonderful new dentist I started with did new x-rays and said my lower right molar needed a crown. And an upper smaller tooth needed a replacement filling. Horrors! No matter how much reassurance….that novo-needle hurts! The appointment was made. The crown temp completed and I left after an hour. I chewed away.

The next week, the temp came off, the new crown was glued on and the awful novo-needle stung my upper right to replace the filling. That appointment lasted an hour and 20 minutes. I couldn’t WAIT to get out of there. I was reaching my dental limit. The novocaine wore off and the new crowned tooth ached. Nooooooo……

I gave it 3 days and no chewing on the right side….rest, little tooth, rest. Eggs, avocados…ok. Toast? No. UGH. A week and a half later I called my dentist and told them about the ache, no chewing on the right. They said “come in”. I did. After meticulous examination, Dr. said….I am so sorry, but I see a tiny gap that may be causing the crown to move and cause the aching. I asked, “What are we going to do?” He replied, “I know you don’t want to hear this, but I am very particular and we will need to cut it off and replace it.” AAAAGGGHHH!  Each day I would try to chew on my right side, praying and pleading with God to relieve me of this ache. I know, “cry baby” you’re thinking. 🙂

My Stepfamily Rx conference was coming up in a couple of weeks on April 1st. So much to think about. For whatever reason, registration was so low, I was going to postpone the conference for another time. I felt a Divine voice whisper. “Dori, you stated publicly that Wednesday, March 29th was the cutoff.” That was a week away. I recommitted to trusting the Lord and letting time pass as planned.

I went to collect the registrations from the church office after 5:00 p.m. on Wednesday, March 29th. More had registered…it was really good! I went home feeling emotionally exhausted from all the hubbub. I treated myself to a cold brew and some peanut butter filled pretzels. I was on my second handful when I realized I was chewing/chomping on my RIGHT SIDE. Crunch, crunch, crunch. NO PAIN. I sat straight up in my recliner, pushing hard with my finger on my newly crowned molar. Nada. Nothing.

That was almost two weeks ago. I went to the dentist yesterday, he shook his head in wonder as I told him what happened. He will take care of the tiny little gap, but the crown is secure and PAINLESS. God is good and faithful. What do you think?

Some will say “Meh”, some might say “Wow”, some will say “Oh, took a couple of weeks to heal.” But me? I believe in God winks…He is so evident in my life. God is always with us. He hears us. He wants us to “grow and become”. He has wonderful plans for us.

God bless you….stay the course, believe, endure, persist. I did and felt blessedly “crowned”.

May this Easter Season bring you peace, joy, love, and a celebration of the Risen Christ!!

 

The Challenge: Combat “BUSY”

busy    AAAGGHHH…..this one little word…my newest most UNFAVORITE word… has been the culprit of my absence as well as the angst of my family and friends’ lives.

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard this word in the past six months, I’d have a good stash for Christmas shopping! What is going on? Are we really that consumed? Is it an affirming word for our existence? A quick answer to explain why we’ve not called, come over, spoken to each other? Sadly…..I believe all of these or a combination is true.

A recent short video I saw on Facebook and posted to my timeline about a family too “busy” to see their elderly father at Christmas until they all received a notice that he died. All showed up at his door and on time. When he presented himself from around the corner, everyone’s face displayed shock….but thankfully, they were happy he was living and able to spend at least one more Christmas with them all.

I hear “busy” a lot and I’ve challenged myself NOT to say it when someone asks “How’ve you been, what’s been going on?”, and also to not let “busy” run my life. It’s become annoying, snarky, and the excuse of excuses. I know if I dropped dead right now or a loved family member or friend, schedules suddenly wouldn’t matter…you know it’s true for you all as well.

I speak about living the 3 R’s…Respect, Responsibility, & Reverence. I’ve added another to that speaking gig….REGRET. I do not want to live nor die with regret. None of us know when our moment will come. No second chances.

Family and friends….our God-given gifts to help us, love us, teach us, pray and play with us. Jump off the busy train, this is your challenge…stop using that word…for 30 days. Develop boundaries and priorities. Let not your last word to a loved one be, “I was just too darn busy.” God bless you, each and every one.

 

Holidays, Chats, Emotions, a Lot of Listening….

How easily time slips away. Quietly, quickly. The Christmas season is full of preparation including activities such as baking, planning, figuring out family gifts, shopping, and the stress that always seems to come. I’ve become more seasoned at how to handle all of it, learning that if I focus on anything or anyone else other than Jesus Christ, I fall into a consuming pit. I’m not perfect, I still have to face many issues that range from pure joy to retching aches. It’s a true test of trusting God when we all want to shout, “You’re hurting me!!” at various times to various people….but we choose to remain silent.

I met with several people during this season that have relational and emotional issues going on in their lives. People saying hurtful words without thinking. Parents wanting more love and acceptance from their adult children…that four letter word “busy” hampering quality time. Separation and divorce wounds open and bleeding. Children of divorce favoring the parent that caused great heartache to their other parent…the bruised spouse/parent wondering why.

Listening to someone pour out their hearts is one of the most therapeutic things we can do for each other. I greatly value the trust gift that many individuals give me. Praying that Jesus heal hearts and soothe aching spirits is the only answer and my gift back. We cannot fix, we cannot expect, we cannot change others.

My prayer for all of you is that this year of 2016 with the world’s issues and our country’s unrest constantly reminding us of our sinful condition…that Jesus remain FIRST in your life, that you know the joy and peace that only He can give…..because: Jesus said to him, I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” John 14:6