A friend privately messaged me about people in her life, including a person of love interest, telling her that because she is divorced, she is not marriage material, she is “doomed” to single life. She inspired me today to return to my blog and write. Below is a modified version of what I shared with her as I thought of more to say..
“Hi love…you may have just inspired to me write on my blog. It is people’s legalism that think and believe like those you describe above! Have they not committed any sin? There are no levels of sin…God hates divorce, God hates sin….SIN is what separates us from God, not divorce. Once we surrender to Christ and accept Him into our hearts as Lord and Savior and repent of our sins (believe me, I had plenty to repent for!!)….our hearts are changed, we are transformed, we are BORN AGAIN! Therefore, we are a new creature in Christ and wonderful considerations as a spouse. I am divorced twice, although my 2nd husband has passed away, but when I fell to my knees in surrender and repentance, I felt the blood of Jesus wash over me. I felt amazing love and complete forgiveness. When I facilitate Divorce Care, I stress not having sex before marriage (that too is a sin), but it also blinds us, especially women. Women want to be loved and many times falsely believe pre-marital intimacy is love. It is absolutely essential that two are equally yoked in Christ before marriage, otherwise Satan will have more success than failures. And the marriage will still have difficulties and hardship between the good times and joy. When both man and woman are committed to Christ and deem Him above everyone and everything else…..that is when first marriage or next marriage after divorce will best be filled with the fruits of the Spirit. If you have given your heart and soul to Jesus, pray that God will bring a godly man into your life. There are false Christians out there….we must be discerning and very patient. It will be worth the wait!! I love you…don’t allow legalists to put you down!“
I no longer live in bondage, I am free. Jesus Christ is my everything. Although I am still faulty and sin, I do not purposely seek to sin and hurt God. I repent of my behaviors when not in line with Scripture. As the image above says, God is with me….before, during, and after my choices.The difference is now I pray about my choices, because I believe God has a plan for me. I am fearless in speaking about Jesus and His presence in my life. I may be divorced twice, but before this marriage to Bob, I surrendered my life to Christ and although not a perfect spouse, I am a worthy spouse as daughter of the King.
Well, this was great, I need to be here writing more!
It’s been an incredible time since mid-March when our lives were turned upside down, relationships reeled, businesses suffered, Zoom fatigue was born. We couldn’t call up someone to meet us for lunch or coffee and talk over heartache or share happiness.
Someone said to me recently, “I wonder how many babies will be born in nine months” during the two week complete national shut-down. In my ministry it isn’t about birth, I wondered about death during the long weeks of isolation, “stay home” …death of a marriage that was already suffering or death of hope in a stepfamily because of upset schedules. We don’t have to feel alone. We stepfamilies are not odd, abnormal, weird, or unnatural. We are different. We deal with loyalties and history as we merge together and take steps to create new memories.
August 8th will be my 7th Stepfamily Rx Conference. It is a place to share and learn as well as be supported and encouraged. See the flyer in the margin.
Due to CV19, we are taking precautions for LIMITED SEATING. Facemasks will be optional and distancing will be respected. After the shutdown, the need for support and encouragement for stepfamilies is great! We are here to partner with you!
An additional speaker and a surprise speaker! You will NOT want to miss this event!
As a speaker, I continue to seek out connections especially during this time of solitude and “no touching” as we watch and listen to how the Covid19 virus is changing our normal way of life.
I need connection with positive-minded, Christ-centered people, women especially. I am fueled, energized, and my love tank is refilled. We need a multitude of individuals that can offer a difference in opinion, some spice, and knowledge; people to love and support and encourage who and what we are.
To grow and learn, I subscribe to devotionals and to speaker professionals…so that I can serve to the best of my ability, my two favorite things: God and people. In an email that I received last week, one speaker professional listed a TedTalk that he promoted as worth watching.
I am sharing it with you because I am a survivor…an end result of what this video is about. Someone recently called me a “wounded healer” and although that sounded a bit like Oral Roberts (some of you will understand…wink, wink), it is true. I lived through what Brene Brown personally experienced. We both survived and can now turn to share and help others with our stories. Check it out for improving your connections: https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_the_power_of_vulnerability#t-868999
Every single day of our lives we face choices. Big, little, meaningful or minor. What is important to remember is that within each fork is another fork and before we know it, if we’re not paying attention, we find ourselves exactly where we do NOT want to be.
Making godly choices are exquisite in that when we invite God into our day upon rising, He is with us. Asking the Holy Spirit for wisdom is…well, wise. And hitting the “pause button” before making an important choice is often the best thing we can do.
I cannot tell you how many times I’ve gone to Kohl’s to return something I felt was “important” at the time that I didn’t need to “choose” on Amazon. 😉
Live today like it’s all you have left with gratitude, learn something new, and love others.
I was trying to find an image that expressed an emotional feeling that came over me when I received some tragic news about a friend of mine. Marilyn and I go back to the 80’s when I was a single mom and she took me under her wing in various ways. She is several years older than I. We’ve kept in touch occasionally over the years. We currently live within two hours of each other. It’s been about four years since I last saw her.
She’d been on my mind a lot lately, so I reached out to her daughter, Ari. Why I didn’t try Marilyn’s phone or write a letter to her home address….I believe is a God thing. Ari told me that her mom has been living in a memory care facility. I was shocked beyond asking for how long. It was like a punch in the chest. Not my friend. Not vibrant, classy, creative, fun Marilyn. Not a disease that steals parts and then all of memory and recall. Not my friend.
I wept, I grieved. I then remembered that our life here is precious, but temporary. Our true home is in heaven. How we end our life here is a mystery…some abrupt, some suffering, some lingering.
It’s already on my calendar in a couple of weeks to contact Ari so she can make arrangements and authorize my visit with Marilyn. I cherish the memories and laughter Marilyn and I shared. I hope to share more with her when I see her, but I also need to be prepared if she does not recognize me. Please Lord, not my friend….let us have one more visit sharing us.
Hug often, tell those you love that you love them…often. God bless you all…..
Rhonda Noordyk is an amazing financial resource for women going through separation and divorce. She also understands the value of multiple issues women experience such as fear, loneliness, etc., so she gathers other resources to offer a more full line of help for women. Rhonda asked me to do a podcast with her, below is the link…..
The following post was on my Facebook feed this morning and it struck me:
“Lukewarm people don’t really want to be saved from their sin; they want only to be saved from the penalty of their sin…..Ouch!” -Frances Chan
The years since my surrender in 1997 have been filled with a ton of ups and downs, but one thing that did not happen was any waffleing about Whose I am. Before my surrender, I was a chameleon that became whatever my circumstances dictated. I was a people pleaser, didn’t want anyone to not like me, and pursued what I thought was living a “good” life.
Now I find myself in a time where it is eternally critical to stand for my moral beliefs in Christ and not waffle, not be a chameleon, not bend toward pursuing people liking me.
Living for Jesus has been the single most amazing experience! I see Him in my life, I have seen the blessings, I have gone through the ups and downs and know it is for my eternal salvation that I suffer or that I shine. I accept my consequences when I make poor choices, but I also find that they are becoming less since my surrender and being committed to making proper choices.
Pausing, praying, purposefully allowing God to choose my path isn’t always easy, and sometimes even a bit scarey…..but it’s always certainly worth it!