Just Whose Fault Is It?

I received several comments from my post yesterday and as I sat here this morning at my keyboard, another very important thought arose in my mind. I always attribute these “winks” as a nudge from the Lord. When there is trouble and angst within a marriage, blame and justification and pride come forward quite quickly. They begin to form a wall, a boundary to protect one’s claim or position. Certainly the problems and challenges in a marriage is responded with “not MY fault”….

Christian marriages devoted to the love of and service to God are under attack. From the outside, many good and solid marriages are struggling. Especially in stepfamilies where the dynamics are more intricate and complicated. Because this may be a second or third or more marriage, the propensity for the couple to “hide” their problems and put on the “mask” and feel embarrassed is strong. “Why can’t we get this right?”

“It’s your fault, you are too protective of your kids, you need to stop mothering them!” “It’s your fault, if you were more of a man around here, we wouldn’t be having these problems!” “It’s the kids’ fault…if we didn’t have them around all the time, we’d get along better!” Ow, ow, ow. Let me assure you…the fault is not all flesh.

From Ephesians 6:12:  For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities,against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

We who love Christ are fighting Satan. In his diabolical ways, he enters the minds of spouses and can cause disputes and anger through our emotional channels. This is where the “blame game” gets dicey. We need to recognize the reality of Satan and his ploys in our lives and marriages. We need to get on our knees to pray and seek spiritual cover. Silence, calm, and a request for discernment from the Holy Spirit are powerful during hostile or chaotic times.

Here is a wonderful excerpt from:


“Part I: The Spiritual Battle   How do we know that there is a spiritual realm? If we cannot see it, should we believe in it? Many believers and unbelievers today do not want to “deal” with a world we cannot see when the world we do see is hard enough to “deal” with. Before we can discuss the spiritual battle, we have to believe in the spiritual realm. We have a tendency to act like a two year old child who closes her eyes and places a blanket over her head, really believing that no one can see her because she cannot see them. Just because we cannot see the spiritual realm does not mean it is not there. Keith Green, a Christian song writer, wrote, “I [Satan] used to have to sneak around. But now they just open their doors. No one’s looking for my tricks because no one believes in me any more.” However, if we choose to ignore or not believe in the spiritual realm, we will find ourselves confused, frustrated, and quenching the peace that God has promised to each of us. The best defense is a strong offense. Just educating ourselves about the spiritual realm is half the fight and God gives us everything else we need to be victorious with the other half.”

Amen and Amen. We need to be cautious and conscious of the harm that Satan can throw our way. Pray, read Scripture with your coffee in the morning. Protect yourself!

Blessings, dori:)

2 thoughts on “Just Whose Fault Is It?

  1. Very good thoughts. Satan is attacking marriage like never before. If he can cause discourse in the family unit, he can render us paralyzed, ineffective for God. Stepfamilies, I think are more vulnerable with as you said, we are more intricate and complicated. It’s a good reminder of the truth in a “family that prays together stays together”.


  2. Thank you, blendermom3! I am passionately committed to helping stepfamilies be uplifted and encouraged…and avoid “redivorce” by praying together, focusing not on earthly things, but on Jesus. This holy focus will help us all very much. God bless you and yours! dori:)


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