Stepliving has so many complicated and intricate components involved in daily living, that to try to explain it to someone who has never lived it is almost impossible. It is arduous and constant work and commitment. Is it impossible work? No.
However, it takes a completely different level of the fruits of the Spirit: Love: unconditional, unbiased, often with difficult people. Joy: comes from within and we make the choice to embrace it and not depend on someone else to give it to us. Peace: integrating and creating methods of harmony, understanding different family roles. Longsuffering: DON’T GIVE UP! We harvest what we plant, we rest in Christ and have faith it’s darkest right before the dawn, so we await the harvest. One day your stepchildren may admit you were very important to them. Kindness: acceptance and calm, hurting children and family members need assurance. Goodness: giving of ourselves to exemplify Christ, sharing ourselves with mercy. Faithfulness: Cling to Christ, having God at the helm of your marriage, “…And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose…: Romans 8:28. Gentleness: soothing, patient associations within the family and for the extended family. Self-Control: We all have personal access and control of our “emotional buttons”. Practice silence before responding or reacting. Breathe, pray.
There are seasons in any marriage, but the seasons within stepfamilies can be very intense. Sometimes I envision a spider web to show the connections and associations within families, especially in multiple divorce or relationship situations. Past histories and loyalties can stir up jealousies, dissension, and chaos. Even when things appear to be at their worst, hang on….Don’t Give Up! Spend time talking it out, seek counsel or a mediator, or your pastor. This morning’s passage from Galations 6:7-10:
7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap.8 For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. 9 Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. 10 So then, [a]while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith.
Jesus never said life would be fair or easy….He did say it would be worth it!
Blessings in Christ! dori:)